So Far Down, No Way Out
by ShadoWolfDemon
Summary: It didn’t take much to crush his spirit; one single death did it. His best friend, now gone, sent him spiraling so far down, there was no way out. This is his story; Ash’s story. WARNING: DARK. Advanceshipping.
1. Chapter 1: Bones Shatter

**Summery:** It didn't take much to crush his spirit; one single death did it. His best friend, now gone, sent him spiraling so far down, there was no way out. This is his story; Ash's story. WARNING: DARK. Advanceshipping.

*******

**So Far Down, No Way Out**

**By Shadow**

**Chapter One: Bones Shatter**

"_No matter where you've been or who you are  
If it doesn't kill you it's sure to leave a horrible scar."_

*******

Two figures walked through the night silently, barely making a sound as they trekked through deep snow. All that mattered to them right now was putting one foot in front of the other, and continuing to move. If they didn't, well, lets just say that they would freeze to death.

"Ash!" the girl shouted, hoping to catch his attention. Unfortunately, she wasn't heard over the howling of the blizzard… or she was being blatantly ignored. Either was possible. In any case, the girl wasn't about to let Ash get too far ahead of her. She'd been following him for hours now, and all that was happening was that they were getting more lost, and closer to their downfall. She wasn't too keen on dying young, and so, she knew it was time to stop. The snowstorm was just getting more powerful with every step.

"Ash!" she tried again, this time picking up the pace so she could grab his shoulder and turn him around. The boy known as Ash allowed himself to be pulled back so that his eyes were locked with the girl… no, it wasn't just a girl; it was May. His very best friend. May who had stuck with him through his entire downward spiral, journey, and even supported him in the most reckless choice of his lifetime.

And that was where they were now. On their way towards Sinnoh for a mission that even Ash had trouble wrapping his mind around… but he would do anything, go to any lengths, to complete it.

"Ash we should stop before the storm gets worse," May yelled over the roar of the wind. Ash said nothing, but he nodded, agreeing that now was as good a time as ever to camp out for the night. May sighed, letting go of his shoulders, "You had me worried again. Don't ignore me okay? I'm just trying to help."

"You have been helping," Ash said kindly, but May didn't seem to hear him. The wind was too loud. Cursing his luck, Ash looked around for a place they could take shelter. His eyes eventually landed on a snow cave about ten feet ahead of them. With a gesture of his hand, Ash lead the way towards the grotto. Both of them slipped inside a few moments later, huddling towards the back to escape the wind.

"I hate c-cold," May stuttered, blowing hot air into her hands.

Ash let out a muffled agreement as he closed himself into a tight ball beside her, mimicking her methods of keeping warm. Unfortunately, they didn't have anything heavier to wear, and no firewood, not to mention that the storm was only getting worse.

"I wish we had a f-fire," Ash said quietly. May agreed, hugging herself tighter as the temperatures continued to drop slowly. The night still had a long way to go.

Suddenly, May had an idea, and picked a Pokeball off her belt, "B-Blaziken, come out and keep us warm!"

The Pokeball exploded into a beam of white energy, forming into May's very well trained Blaziken. Sure, they didn't have wood, but Blaziken could still keep them warm by building up body heat. May assumed that it would have to let out some flames eventually so it wouldn't build up too much energy, but at least it would help them for the moment. Soon enough, the cave started to become warm enough to shed some layers of wet clothing, leaving both May and Ash in their normal outfits again.

The night continued on painfully slowly, neither Ash nor May uttering a sound aside from the occasional sigh. It was Ash who finally broke the wall, and ventured to say something; it had been lingering on his mind for some time now, and he would have to ask eventually:

"May? Do you remember how we first met?" he started. He then cringed upon remembering it himself. The image was so clear to him… and probably to May as well; the horror that they'd witnessed….

***

The day was peaceful, sunny, and beautiful. Nothing that was out of the ordinary in a town like Littleroot. Perhaps the only thing that stood out about that particular day was the three new Pokemon waiting to be picked up at the Lab, and the child about to get them.

That child, was none other than May Maple, a young trainer to be, who really didn't have too much interest in Pokemon. In truth, May just wanted to go out on her journey so she could travel the world….

But her parents expected her to one day come back home to take over the gym, a job May knew she would relish from day one, all the way until she could retire.

May sighed at the thought, pulling the breaks on her bicycle to look out over the horizon. It really _was_ a beautiful day, she thought as she watched a ship pull up to the dock. Most likely it was bringing in trainers from other places… other places that May would someday visit.

"Then I have no time to waste," she said to herself as she peddled away from the Cliffside. She continued on determinedly, barely making a sound aside from deep breaths. Soon enough, the Lab came into clear view, however, something seemed amiss.

"Hello?" May called as she pulled her bike over. Several moments passed, and no one answered her, and so, May tried again: "Hello? Professor Birch?"

This time, noise could be heard coming from the inside of the lab. Breaking glass, shuffling feet, and some muffled screaming. May rose her eyebrows curiously, wondering what was going on. A moment later, a Lab assistant burst through the front door, his eyes wide with panic. It took him a few moments to register just what was going on, but he seemed to calm somewhat when he realized it was May standing in front of the door, and not an Aggron.

"You must be May," he sighed. "The Professor is out at the moment. I suggest you wait--"

"I'll go look for him," May interrupted before the man could finish. The poor assistant had no time to tell her to stay, because May peddled away towards the surrounding forest, hoping to find Professor Birch and get on the road.

Fortunately, or maybe unfortunately, May stumbled upon someone else on her way into the forest, and by stumbled, I mean crashed into. She, her bike, and the person she'd hit landed in a heap in the grass rather painfully, after rolling down a hill like a giant snowball.

"Watch where you're going!" a muffled voice cried out. It took May a few moments to realize that the voice was indeed, coming from underneath her, and she quickly scurried off her poor victim.

"Sorry!" May exclaimed. The kid she'd knocked over didn't seem to be too much older than herself, and clearly a Pokemon fan by the hat he wore on his head. The boy groaned, and pushed May's bike off his body, rubbing his head. May smiled nervously, offering a hand to the young man; it was the least she could do after crashing into him like that.

The boy accepted it graciously, hoisting himself up, and dusting off his jeans. At least he didn't seem to be mad anymore, May thought. However, he _did_ seem distracted, and worried. He looked around his feet in a panicky sort of way before staring back up at May, "Have you seen a Pikachu around here?"

"Um, no?" May responded. "Have you seen a Professor Birch?"

Except the boy didn't answer, instead going back to searching for this "Pikachu" of his. May, who was growing rather irritated, tried to asked him again, but to no avail.

"Kid!" she finally yelled, grabbing the boy's shoulder and turning him around.

"My name's not 'kid,' it's Ash," the boy responded. "And I need to find Pikachu. He's really sick. He could--"

But before Ash could finish explaining, a flash of light and the cracking of thunder cut him off. Without missing a heartbeat, Ash turned away from May, running towards the source of the lightning at top speed.

"Wait! What are you doing? You're supposed to run away from things like that not towards them!" May shouted as Ash retreated into the forest. She stared for a moment, contemplating if she should follow the boy or not. Common sense told her not to go… but…

"Augh!" Ash's voice screamed a moment later. Another crack of lightning shot through May's ears like a needle, making them ache with pain. Something terrible was going on, that much was clear.

After hesitating for a few more moments, May ran after Ash, leaving her bike in the dirt. Her heart was pounding in her ears almost louder then the thunder that had just sounded as she tore through the bushes.

May stopped, her eyes widening in horror at the sight before her. Ash lay on the ground smoking, and a Pikachu, probably the one he had been looking for, lay a few feet away from him, also smoking.

"Kid!" she cried, running up to Ash and crouching over him. He groaned as she turned him on his back to make sure he was okay. May tried calling out to him again; Ash's eyes scrunched, and then snapped open. May let out a yelp of surprise, leaping backwards as the boy sat up straight, his eyes once again in a panic.

"Pikachu!" he shouted.

"It's over there," May said quietly.

Ash turned around, his eyes following where May was pointing in the grass. Pikachu lay there, motionless and smoking like Ash had been moments before. The boy ran up to the electric mouse, picking it up and holding it close, "Pikachu. Come on, let's get you better."

"What's wrong with it?" May asked, walking up behind Ash.

"It's been exposed to an electro-magnet. Pikachu might… might explode if I don't do something fast," Ash explained, his eyes wincing at the last part.

_So that's why he hasn't been answering me. I should help him out,_ May thought. She looked at the Pikachu in Ash's arms, her mind racing as its cheeks sparked again. Several moments later, May's eyes lit up with an idea, "I have my bike over there! It will help you get it to the lab faster. Come on!"

Ash blinked, and then followed May through the forest, back to her downed bicycle.

"Okay," May started as she propped the bike back up. Unfortunately, as soon as she had it on its kickstand, the poor thing's peddle fell off. "Oh… _crap_."

"Forget it!" Ash shouted, pushing past May and running up a hill. "I'll just have to get there myself!"

"Wait! Do you even know where you're going?" May asked, running up after him. The two of them climbed to the top, only to stop short of falling off a cliff. May crouched down, breathing heavily. "I was trying to warn you… the lab is up the other side of the hill."

Ash was about to respond, however, Pikachu's eyes snapped open. The mouse let out a wail of terror, biting down on Ash's arm violently. Ash let go of his Pikachu, and it went running down the hillside.

"No!" Ash shouted, running after it once again. May tried to call out in an exasperated voice for him to stop, but he was already gone before she could say anything. Letting out a groan of frustration, May ran down the hill after them.

Another bolt of lightning struck the ground not too far off.

"Pikachu!" Ash shouted in horror. May picked up her speed, hoping to catch up before something terrible happened.

Unfortunately, it was too late….

May appeared before the scene as Ash fell to his knees, blood splattered all over his horrified face. May held back her own shriek of terror as she scanned the scene even closer.

_Whose blood?_ she asked herself as she extended her gaze a bit farther down the path. Upon seeing what lay ahead, May nearly gagged. It was Pikachu… well, the remains of Pikachu. It was smoking as if it had been put in an oven, and bleeding all over its body. It was almost as if the poor Pokemon had popped like a water balloon, blood spilling onto the grass and staining it crimson.

"Pikachu," Ash called out helplessly, causing May to snap out of her trance. She watched the poor boy crawl forward towards the electric mouse, only to stop when his hands touched the puddle of blood that surrounded the Pokemon.

"P-Pikachu," he stuttered, picking up his hand and watching the blood drip down his arm and onto his shirt.

Pikachu did not respond.

"Pikachu!" Ash cried suddenly, his voice echoing so loudly, the Tailow in the trees flew away, frightened. May watched, pity gripping her heart as Ash continued to cry out his Pokemon's name. It was no use, but he continued to try, even prodding its bloody body several times in a useless attempt to get Pikachu to move.

Finally, Ash started to grow weary, and his cries became softer as his voice got horse from overuse. May hesitantly walked forward as Ash turned away from the dead Pokemon in the dirt. He didn't even notice as May gently lead him away from the scene.

It was only when they were about halfway to the lab did Ash realize the full weight of what had happened.

"Pikachu's not coming back is he?" he asked aloud, though not to May particularly. May wasn't sure how, or even if she should answer the poor boy. She resolved to instead prod him towards Professor Birch's laboratory once again. There was no use in going back now. Ash, unsurprisingly, went without a fight, instead staring idly at his bloody hands. Once in awhile, he let out a small cry, but said nothing as May lead him along silently.

Finally, they reached the lab, where Professor Birch and his Assistant were speaking to each other. Though May couldn't make out what they were saying, she was sure by their tone of voice that neither knew what had happened.

Finally, the two researchers looked up to see May and Ash.

"Professor Birch!" May called, relieved that they'd finally made it.

"May! Ash!" he called, running up to them. His eyes widened in horror as he saw the blood on Ash's face, hands, and clothing, but he did not question it. May stole a glance at the older man, only to confirm that he knew exactly what had happened. "Let's bring him inside and clean him up. May, your first Pokemon will have to wait for a bit."

"Yeah, that's okay," May replied breathlessly as the Professor took over leading Ash.

May stood stopped in front of the lab, speechless. She was also in quite a bit of shock, though she couldn't even imagine how Ash was feeling, or if he was feeling anything at all. He must have been more shocked then she was.

_I have to help him,_ May resolved. _At least, right now._

With that thought in mind, May walked into the lab.

***

**A/N: Okay, okay, OKAY! I should be shot for making this fic. Like, multiple times. I'm sure you're all thinking, "SHADOW, HOW COULD YOU!?"**

**I assure you, everything turns out okay in the end.**

**But the end is certainly a loooong way off. **

**So if you want to see that nice happy ending, you'd do yourself well to review. Neh?**


	2. Chapter 2: Changes

**A/N: Hello all you buckos and buckets (bwaha, stole that little phrase from a friend. I had to try it at least once).**

**That aside, thanks to the faves, alerts, and reviews you all left on the last chapter. I appreciate them very much. **

**I will answer to reviews that are from anon users before every chapter. Anyone that makes a signed review will get a reply from me via "Review Reply" or PM. So without further ado, here they are:**

111111111111-- Uh, your review was very… brief. Just saying "EW, BUT UPDATE" really gives me no motivation. I'd rather you not leave reviews like that, whoever you are. Seems kind of immature to me.

Gryphon Turboclaw -- can I just say that your review was probably the best one I've ever gotten on ? It didn't just say "holy bajeebus, that was awesome" and actually pointed out the good and bad aspects of the chapter. So thank you. That aside, I will be addressing what you said now:

**This is an AU of the Advanced Gen episodes, isn't it? **My answer to that is, yes… kind of. It will follow Ash and May through Hoenn, but after that it takes quite a different twist. As you can see from the first part of the first chapter, May and Ash were on their way to Sinnoh (which never actually happened to my dismay. Dawn is just so fail in comparison to May DX), and some of the events from Advanced will be heavily altered. In any case, your review pretty much nailed some of the key aspects I will cover: **I can't help but to wonder how he's going to recover from this blow (if he ever truly does), or to see how he'll interact with those around him, especially Team Rocket (whose electromagnet put Ash's best friend on what was essentially a self-destruct timer in the first place)…. I wonder exactly how May's presence will affect Ash both in the short term and in the long term(though you *do* give us a brief glimpse of the latter, which is a nice touch).**

Don't worry, all of that will be covered soon (especially the Team Rocket part). As for him and May, I do have to point to the "Advancedshipping" label in the summery, though it's not because I'm a "fan" persay. It's just what I think would happen if Ash went through something that traumatizing, followed by traveling with a girl for months. I just think he would grow attached to May, especially with her giving him some much needed support as he goes through a spiral (which he will. I don't see how he couldn't after _that_).

**The only thing that you seemed to get wrong was the fact that because May didn't even *like* pokemon at the time she started out (thanks to that incident with the Tentacool swarm when she was a toddler and also quite probably the pressures from her family that you mentioned), May wouldn't have relished the prospect of becoming a gym leader in the least. As a matter of fact, I believe that the reason that May was so drawn to pokemon contests in the first place was because they wasn't all that much like the conventional pokemon battling that she had grown up around for the bulk of her life. It took her exposure to the contest curcuit as well as Ash's aid and comfort for May to overcome her dislike regarding pokemon, and that development was one of the reason that AG was able to blast out from under Johto's (and even Kanto's!) long shadow as well as it did.**

I see where you're coming from on that, but don't you think her distaste for Pokemon in general would also make her hate the idea of taking over the gym? Not only that, but May wants to travel the world, and she can't exactly do that stuck in Petalburg. Still, I agree, it's not really "Pokemon" that she doesn't like, it's the **"conventional pokemon battling**". Still at the beginning of Advanced, you don't know that or see that, and so, likewise, that's what I did. I pinned it on her disliking of Pokemon because that's just how the series began. No one knew about contests yet… and now I think if I continue I will get redundant.

Also, a couple of other things to note about your review: I agree that AG trumped Johto and Kanto. It was my personal favorite. And the fact that Pikachu's death made you cringe…. GOOD. XD. I tried. Thirdly, no grammar or spelling errors. Le'GASP. That never happens. Haha. I'm sure there are a few that you didn't see but still… awesome, that made my day.

Without further ado, here is the chapter!

***

**So Far Down, No Way Out**

**By Shadow**

**Chapter Two: Changes**

"_Now I'm going through changes, changes_

_God I feel so frustrated lately_

_When I get suffocated, save me_

_Now I'm going through changes, changes…"_

*******

Several hours had passed since the incident occurred, and May sat in an uncomfortable silence by herself outside the room Ash was taken. In all honesty, she was glad she didn't have to sit through what was likely the worst moment in the young boy's life; she wouldn't be able to take it.

"I hope he's okay," May sighed aloud as she stared up at the clock. The second hand ticked painfully slowly, echoing in the unnaturally quiet lab. No one was bustling about and doing research, and no Pokemon were walking around freely. The only thing audible aside from the clock and May's own breathing was the hum of various electronics.

Another hour came and went with the same silence, and May was growing more worried by the second. Eventually, the young girl couldn't take it anymore, and stood up, venturing towards the door where Ash and Birch had disappeared.

Carefully, May twisted the knob, and creaked the door open a crack, just to see what was going on: Ash was sitting on a bed, looking down at the floor solemnly in a new set of clothes. Professor Birch was nowhere in sight.

Taking in a deep breath, May ventured into the room, "Hi there."

Ash looked up at May, his eyes barely registering anything aside from the fact that she'd moved towards him. He didn't even respond to her greeting. May frowned, but closed the door behind her.

It was only when the door clicked shut that Ash spoke up, "Hi."

May whipped around, surprised that Ash had even said anything. His voice was still hoarse from his screaming earlier, but overall, he looked a whole lot better. May let out a warm smile, and reproached Ash. This time, Ash followed her movements until she came to stand in front of him.

"I guess we didn't get a chance to really introduce ourselves. My name's May," she said, extending her hand.

Ash stared at it for a few moments, and then brought up his own hand for a handshake, "Ash."

The two gripped hands for a moment, and barely shook before letting go. An awkward silence filled the room and the air seemed to grow heavier. May wanted to speak, but resisted, unsure of anything she could say at this point.

It was Ash that broke the silence first, "Thanks for helping me back there."

"Yeah… it's no problem," May responded. "Are you… feeling any better?"

Ash cringed, but nodded. Meanwhile, May mentally slapped herself. Of course he wasn't feeling better. He was probably still in shock… hell, she was still in shock. Empathy filled her heart for the young boy before her, "I'm really sorry about what happened."

"It wasn't your fault," Ash responded immediately, to which May gave a slight smile. It didn't take a lot of knowledge about him to see that he was a pretty selfless person, but that kind of reaction just confirmed it.

Suddenly, Professor Birch burst into the room, his eyes wide with panic, "Ah! The Pokemon got loose again! Watch out!"

May and Ash simultaneously blinked at the man as he crashed into a desk, sending supplies flying off the edges and onto the floor. May laughed nervously as the elder man fell to the floor, completely dazed.

Moments later, a Pokemon came running passed his feet. Actually, three Pokemon: a Torchic, Mudkip, and Treeko. May let out a surprised yelp as the Torchic came running up to her, jumping to her arms.

"It's okay," she said awkwardly. _From one insecure being to another, _her mind added.

Ash, who had been watching the entire time, got up and crouched by the other two Pokemon, a light smile adorning his face. "This one is cool. Is this a water type?" he asked, pointing to Treecko.

Treecko seemed almost offended at this statement, and placed a twig in its mouth, "Treecko tree!" It turned its nose up, and crossed its arms.

"Well, that answers your question," Professor Birch cut in. "Treecko's a grass type. Mudkip here," he continued, picking up the blue finned Pokemon, "is a water type."

"Mudkip!" it chirped.

"And what about this one?" May inquired, holding up the Pokemon in her arms.

"That's Torchic, a fire type," Birch replied. "I was going to wait for a little while, but these are the Pokemon you have to choose from May."

"Oh!" Ash exclaimed, shooting up from the ground. His face was lit up completely in a genuine smile as he turned his attention to May. "You're just starting your journey? That's so awesome! Congrats!"

"Um," May started, a little surprised at his sudden cheerful outburst. Either way, she was glad he seemed to be happy. Smiling, she replied, "Yeah I am. Thanks Ash."

"Ah, I forgot to introduce you two to each other, but I guess you already did. One step ahead of me," Birch said wistfully. May blinked at the Professor again, tilting her head a bit. Ash had the same reaction. The man just laughed, "Take your pick May!"

"Oh, okay," she replied, shaking off the feeling that Birch was implying something she didn't get. She put down Torchic next to the other two Pokemon and inspected them carefully. She came up to Treecko first, but the lizard Pokemon seemed completely unamused. Plus, to be perfectly honest, May thought it was a bit creepy looking. She moved onto Mudkip, who was giving her a blank stare.

"Kip?" it asked, tilting its head right as May tilted her head left. May finally frowned, feeling as though Mudkip seemed bored with her. It was with that that May turned back to Torchic.

"Tor!" it exclaimed, jumping up to May once again. May blinked in surprise, but then laughed.

"Looks like that Torchic chose you," Ash commented, smiling. His expression suddenly became sullen though, and his eyes seemed to dim, "There's nothing like getting your first Pokemon…"

May stopped laughing when she heard that, realizing that Ash was making a connection back to his Pikachu. So, Pikachu had been his first Pokemon….

May felt for him once again, wondering if he would ever truly get over it. Thankfully, the tension was lifted by Professor Birch's assistant coming in through the door, "It's a shame that Treecko hasn't been chosen. It's gone through three rounds of beginning trainers and no one will pick it due to its attitude problems."

At hearing that, Treecko leapt forward, smacking its tail into the assistant's face.

"Hm, that does seem to be a problem," Professor Birch sighed as his assistant retreated behind the door to avoid a second attack by the extremely aggressive Pokemon. Treecko continued to pound against the door angrily whilst the two young trainers and the professor looked on.

Ash shifted slightly, causing May to turn her head towards him. He still seemed like he was deeply distraught, but then to her surprise, he walked forward to the Treecko, crouching down beside it. He gently placed a hand on its shoulder, "I think… you just really want to get out of this lab huh?"

Treecko stopped its assault and turned to stare at Ash. It's eyes were filled with longing. Clearly, it was made for the outdoors… not for this enclosed place where no one was taking it. Ash picked up the lizard-like Pokemon, and then turned to Professor Birch, "If you don't mind, I'll take this Treecko. I mean… I only brought Pikachu with me here…."

Ash trailed off, averting his gaze from everyone. His ears were burning red in an attempt to hold back emotions, and his body shook a bit, earning a concerned glance from everyone, including the Pokemon in his arms.

"We wanted to make a fresh start," he continued quietly, choking back a sob. "And I still intend to go on that way. Pikachu would have wanted me to keep going."

This time, Ash couldn't hold back, and a tear dropped off his face and onto his arm. May and the professor said nothing as Ash let out another whine. It was clear that he was still trying to hold himself back in front of the two of them.

"Treecko tree," the lizard Pokemon muttered, staring up at the young boy.

It took several more moments, but Ash finally managed to collect himself and stare back at Professor Birch. He wanted his answer.

"You're an experienced trainer from what I've heard. You'll be able to handle that Treecko," the elder man finally replied, his face still holding a look of concern. Ash muttered a thank you quietly, earning a nod from the professor. The man turned around, and picked Treecko's Pokeball off the floor, "This belongs to you now."

Ash took the Pokeball, staring at it for a few moments. Eventually, he nodded, and returned Treecko to its Pokeball.

May stared at the raven haired trainer before her thoughtfully. The boy was clearly not ready to be setting out on a journey in an unfamiliar land with a brand new Pokemon. In all honesty, watching him made May wonder if she herself was prepared for such a journey. The thought somewhat scared her. What if something terrible happened to her too?

"Hey Ash," May said suddenly before she even finished thinking. The boy looked up at her expectantly, but said nothing. "Um. Do you want to, uh…" May trailed off, sighing. She knew what she wanted to say… except she had no tactful way to _say_ it.

"Do you want me to lead you to the next town?" she asked finally. Inwardly, she sighed in relief, realizing that her question had come out much better then she expected. "I happen to know the way there."

"That's a great idea!" Birch bellowed, looking at May with a peculiar expression. May laughed nervously, deciding that Professor Birch was kind of creepy. "Much better to travel with someone else. The road is less lonesome, right lad?"

"I used to never get lonely by myself, because I had Pikachu," Ash muttered.

May glared at the elder man. Just as soon as he had calmed down, the stupid professor had to go and make him feel terrible again. Birch thankfully got the hint, and left the room.

_When I get back home, I'm going to ask Dad just how he met Professor Birch and if he's always been so tactless,_ May thought as she approached Ash once again. She placed a hand on his shoulder reassuringly, "What do you say? We can travel together."

Ash hesitated to answer, looked up at May with puffy eyes. May somehow mustered up a kind smile, and added, "You know he's right. If we go together, we won't get lonely. That goes for me too."

Ash blinked a few times, and then looked away from May. May sighed, letting go of his shoulder. She tried, she supposed. If he didn't want to accept her help… then she couldn't give it to him….

"Y-yeah," Ash finally said. "Let's travel together. That sounds good."

May blinked in surprise, and beamed at Ash, "Alright. I'll go get my stuff together and we can leave."

With that, May dismissed herself from the room, Torchic in hand. She stared down at the birdlike Pokemon, and whispered, "I know I'm helping him out too, but he has no idea how much better I'll feel traveling with someone. I didn't realize how nervous I was until just now."

"Torchic?" Torchic asked. May smiled at it, and then returned it to its Pokeball.

The brunette haired girl let out a sigh as she attached the Pokeball to her belt, and scanned the room for her things. Her bag was sitting on the chair just in front of her, all packed up and ready to go. It was just waiting for Ash now.

Soon enough, Ash walked into the room with his bag on his back and his hat on his head, "Let's go."

May nodded in agreement, and together they walked out of the lab, saying their last farewells to Professor Birch.

***

"Ash, why would you bring up that day?" May had to ask as the winds continued to howl outside the cave. The temperature was still dropping, and the night was hardly dented. Even with Blaziken's body heat protecting them from freezing to death, the cold was seeping in slowly… and May didn't like it.

"I…" Ash started, looking at the cave wall instead of May. "That's a good question. It doesn't really have anything to do with what I want to say."

"Oh?" May asked. "Well it must have something to do with what you're thinking. And--"

Another gust of wind cut May off completely, bringing in a bone chilling batch of snow. It started to melt almost immediately due to Blaziken's energy, but it still sent shivers down both May and Ash's spine.

"I wish our coats weren't wet or it would be a little easier to keep warm," May said, looking at their soaking snow-clothes. She turned to Ash again, staring at him for awhile. He met her gaze, and immediately, the air became awkward. They were both thinking the same exact thing at that moment:

_Body heat…_

"Blaze," Blaziken said, staring at the two trainers expectantly.

"I think Blaziken has the right idea," Ash said suddenly, getting up and walking towards May. He sat down beside her a moment later, refusing to look at the brunette's face, but May could see his ears burning red. She was half tempted to call him out on it, just to lighten the mood, but Ash spoke up suddenly, his voice serious and quiet, "I guess what it is kind of related to what I want to say. Just… remembering what we've been through."

"Yeah," May continued. "It has been a lot. I definitely couldn't have gotten so far without you."

Ash let out a light smile. So, her thoughts echoed his own, at least on the most basic level. Silently, he wondered just how much of an impact he had had on May, and if it paralleled how much she had helped him.

"Remember my first contest?" May asked suddenly, breaking Ash's thoughts off completely.

"What… about it?" Ash asked, relishing the memory. It wasn't the contest itself that he didn't like… but some_one _he couldn't stand.

"I wouldn't have kept going if you hadn't encouraged me after my loss. Remember?" May continued before Ash could delve into dark thoughts. Her voice then became wistful, "And then look how far I got in Hoenn."

"Yeah," Ash said, smiling at the memory.

"I guess I have to thank you for that too," May said, turning to smile at Ash.

"Man, you make it sound easy," Ash muttered, smiling back. May tilted her head in question, and Ash elaborated, "I mean… you make talking seem to easy."

"Oh come on Ash," May laughed, punching him in the shoulder playfully. "We've been traveling together for a long time. You can tell me whatever."

"It's not that simple for me," Ash admitted.

"What could you possibly have to say that you haven't told me yet?" May asked, now curious.

Ash went silent, and looked back down to his feet. May awaited his answer, but in truth, Ash had no idea what he wanted to say, or how to say it. He just knew something needed to be said….

"Do you remember when I went through my… uhm… spiral?" Ash started. He shifted awkwardly to see that May was frowning at him. "I promise, this is leading to something…"

***

**A/N: Ooooh boy. Here comes the heavy stuff. Well more heavy stuff. XD. *bounces up and down like a little kid***

**Review, review, review. 8D**


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